I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
