By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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