Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
