I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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