i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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