i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
