Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
