after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
