doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
