I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We have started to decorate penises.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
