I must be too annoying 4 u.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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