honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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