The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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