i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
