I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
