I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She told me I should be a condom model.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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