You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
