Farmville is her only friend.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize