His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
