Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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