just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
