I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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