Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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