saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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