You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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