Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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