No stitches, just platelets and will power
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
