Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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