the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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