yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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