Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
