is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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