i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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