Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
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wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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