So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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