Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
