I must be too annoying 4 u.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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