I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize