You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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