Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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