It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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