i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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