people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
