dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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