Redeem this text for a blowjob
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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