I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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