I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
