It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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