so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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