i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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