You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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