Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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