OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
