Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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