WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
