There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
as a side note pls kill me
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
