my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
