Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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