So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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