Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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