I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Barsexuality is the new black.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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