We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
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I need you to use more vowels.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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