good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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