Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
