AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
