Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
