Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
