Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
