addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
