dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
