im having a threesome with these popsicles
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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