You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
