The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
