Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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