Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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